(From Grimmís Frizzled Fairy Tales)
a princess by birth, but I am bewitched, and you can deliver me from the spell. I was not always a raven. I was once a Princess.
And I talk in a whisper.
Thatís some story youíve got there, sister. Anything I can do to help?
until you arrive at a dark scary house with a hideous woman in there.
Why would I want to do that?
you eat and drink what she offers you, you will fall asleep... So donít! For three days, you will be visited by a coach drawn
by four horses. The first day the horses will be black, the second, chestnut, the third, white. Keep these straight. They
will never ever be blue...
And youíve got to stay awake if you want to break the spell,
and whatever you do, donít eat or drink anything!
Try NOT TO.
Pilgrimsí Feet, or, Scapino Discovers the New World)
(To the CREW)
All right, now, get ready! Move all
Not a chance. Sorry. Todayís a holiday.
itís the Feast of the Utterance.
Utterance? I havenít heard of that feast.
Then you havenít
heard the utterance.
All right, then, move the boxes the day after.
Itís a seven day
Itís a long utterance.
Youíre telling me nobody
will work for seven days?
Thatís pretty much it. Maybe a few unbelievers... lazy louts.
right, then, move those boxes in a week.
No can do. Itís Sanctification Day.
nobody works on Sanctification Day.
Days. Seven days.
I didnít create the holidays, I just observe them.
Are there any more days like that? I mean, weeks?
Letís see. Thereís the Festival of Quittance Ė seven days; Marcus Padroneís birthday Ė seven days; National Dependence
Four. We donít really like to acknowledge our dependence.
when do you work?
Late May. Give or take a holiday or two.
Why doesnít anybody tell me
(From The Knights)
Hot dogs here! Get your red hot hot dogs!
dog here! Hot dog Ė and political savior!
Beg your pardon?
Just come here a minute and
youíll find out Ė you lucky so and so!
Help him off with his basket while I keep an eye out.
Now celebrate, because soon youíll be the greatest person in the country.
appreciate support, even from a nutcase, but do you mind leaving me alone?
Hold on, hot shot. See that audience?
Well, youíll be their leader before this play is over, able to command armies and make decisions
of national importance.
Absolutely. And it gets better. Stand on your toes
and look figuratively all around you.
Well, itís all yours. This book says right here, youíre destined for greatness.
Youíre making some kind of mistake. I sell hot dogs.
Thatís your greatest advantage for public life.
Youíre a nobody, without any qualifications.
Woah, Iím no politician!
(from The Rehearsal)
in our audience today we find
A benefactor (and we wouldnít mind!),
Someone whose life gains value in its living
lending aid, by charitable giving,
Someone by whose life all our lives are blessed Ė
To you, great one, these verses
We are afraid that you may take offence
At what is really a coincidence.
You see, in our play we show
Good people, who turn out to be bad actors.
Please rest assured, this liberty is not
A libel, but a
mere device of plot,
A catalyst, a nudge, a scaffolding,
To set in play the changes we will ring.
are too scarce to flout Ďem;
We know weíd have to close our doors without Ďem!
As artists, we must always look to you
Your giving, and your sense of humor too,
Because this kind of satire has no spark
Unless it glances all around
So settle back, enjoy, and when we gaff
A fish or two, please join us in the laugh.
Itís nothing but a
friendly joke we tell;
Remember, please, itís on ourselves as well!